I hope your night was good and you will have good days off.
When I woke up in the morning the world did not look very inviting. Thick fog, dark and quite cool. At least it was not windy – a nice break after a month of very strong winds. Darcy and I walked back to the house. It would be nice if she could carry her stuff herself –it does not matter where we go she always has the biggest bag. Today it was just her huge bed with all the blankets.
I sat on the couch, disappointed because of the weather, looking blindly through the window and... the sunrise was amazing. The fog started to lift and the sun lit up the world.
I wished to take a few photos, but... I missed the best part of the sunrise as my camera was not ready. It is what happens when we dwell too long on the bad things – we miss the
beautiful moments... Anyway, I went for a walk on the property and took a few photos.
After the photo-session Darcy and I went for a drive and to the Leslie dam. It was lovely :) Not everywhere dogs were allowed, so we had to drive a bit before we found a spot where we could go for a walk – and Darcy for a swim of course. She loves water and swimming but she always has to be able to touch the ground. She hates deep water and panics. I tested it once in the dam on our property. I carried her into the middle of the dam and wanted her to swim back. As a result I was scratched everywhere, and had to carry her out of the dam. She was like a flat frog clinging to me with a one paw on my left shoulder, the other on my right shoulder and her back paws were scratching my belly in a desperate attempt to climb up on me. So deep water is definitely not for her.
Today at the Leslie dam it was perfect. She found some shallow water, lied down on her belly and started walking pretending to be swimming. She looked very cute and funny. I wish I had somebody with whom I could share the experience and the time at the dam. Somebody, who understands beauty of the little things and can be happy just because... I did not have anybody at the dam to share the experience with, but I can share it now with you, Buddy :)
Yes, it is always nicer to have somebody with whom we can share our life, somebody who understands us, who is happy when we are happy, who sees the world in the same way as we see it. In my home country we have a saying that “Shared happiness is double happiness and shared sadness only half of the sadness”. I thing it is true but only if we can share it with the right person. Otherwise... If we try to share our happiness with somebody who tries to push us down, this will only destroy our happiness. And sharing our sorrows with somebody who is angry with us will double our sorrows.
I was at the dam years ago with George. I completely forgot about this... We even hired a canoe and went canoeing. Do you know why I forgot about this? Because George was very capricious angry and he complained all the time... I just did not want to remember it. I like canoes. When I was at high-school all our class went for a two week canoeing-vacation. The lakes in the northern part of my home country were connected by channels. We went from lake to lake on different channels, camped wild in the forest. I was not accepted by the class-mates, and they made some wicked comments from time to time, but it did not bother me as mostly they left me alone and I was happy with the nature surrounding me. It was great. I do not want to stop liking canoes because of some bad memories (for me it is better to be on my own than listening to somebody complaining and trying everything possible to destroy my happiness).
As I mentioned before, you are right, it is much better if we have somebody with whom we can share our happiness, our sadness, our life. But what to do if we do not have the privilege? Should we give up doing the things we love, only because we cannot share it in the very moment? Maybe at that particular moment we do not have anybody at all to share the experience with. Or maybe the person with whom we want to share it cannot be standing next to us. However, I believe that we still can take the experience with us and share it later with whomever we want to share it.
The first camping trip on my own was very exciting and depressing at the same time. When I was setting up my tent for the night I could not stop crying. The tears flowed
down my cheeks until I finally fell asleep (luckily it was dark so nobody saw me). I loved the riding and taking photos, but the nights were nightmares, especially when
I camped next to a romantic couple in love... I just wanted to be with Adam, I wanted to share my travels and experiences with him. But it was not possible...
Later, when I went to Tassie I met plenty of people and with some of them I stayed in contact, but only for the duration of my trip. I just wanted to have somebody with whom I could share my excitement and my experiences during my adventure. So I was sending messages from time to time to the people I hardly knew – it made me feel better.
I travelled a lot on my own. I did not have anybody standing next to me with whom I could share my excitement. However, I took my experiences with me and later I shared them with diverse people. And sometimes all my adventures have proven to be very useful and helpful for me. I mentioned before that I did not have the best relationship with my sister's husband. We could not stand each other. Usually it was not a problem as we live thousands of kilometres apart. However, something over 3 years ago, I went for a visit to Europe and at some point... I had to spend one hour with my brother-in-law alone in a car. One hour! It was impossible – equally terrifying for me and him. Anyway, we did not have any choice and one day we were forced to be together in the car. I started talking about my travels and all the adventures down under. Then he started sharing his memories of escapades from the times before he met my sister. We had a great time. The hour in the car passed like a minute. Later it turned out that we had to spent much more time together as my sister gave birth to their twins a few weeks before the due date and she had to stay with the babies in hospital. One evening my brother-in-law and I were sitting at home and chatting and when we looked at the clock - we got shocked – it was 2am (luckily it was not me who had to go to work few hours later ;)
I did not have anybody to share my experiences while I was travelling, but there are plenty of people with whom I have shared the experiences until today. And this sharing somehow changed my life as I became more open to people and it also completely changed the relationship with my brother-in-law. Not so long ago I talked to my sister and she asked me to call her more often. It is a bit difficult because of the time difference and also I would not like to interfere with their family life and upset her husband. She replied “You are joking. You would not upset him for sure. You are the only person from my site of the family he likes. Not only likes, but he is telling me that I should be more like you”.
You have no idea Buddy how much I wished today to be there at the lake with you. How much I wished to walk along the lake with you at my side, to go to the places
you were talking about, to laugh together about Darcy and her funny games. But I could not, it was not possible... The two choices I had were to go on my own or to not to
go at all. And because life is constantly changing, nothing stays the same, I will not be forty again, I choose to go by myself and enjoy the moment by myself hoping that
one day I will be able to share it with... somebody. And now, while I am writing to you in some respect I am sharing it with you.
And at the lake it was nicer to be on my own and to look into the happy and excited eyes of my dog, than it would be to be with somebody who does not appreciate the scenery and to look into his bored disappointed and angry eyes.
I had better finish now and go to lock up my pets. Darcy is getting hungry as well, so I'd better give her something to eat.
Lots of Wings,