Thank you very much for the lovely breakfast today. As you know I always enjoy being with you. I know I am not the best person to discuss trading with - always get it wrong, but I hope one day I will have a better understanding :) BTW I like your solution for my “bumping into you” problem. George also had an idea about how to stop me from bumping into him, though actually I did not like it very much... It happened quite a few months or maybe even years ago. One day we went for a walk in town. George was not in the best mood and I was as usual, like a lost puppy looking at everything around me. At some point I did not notice that George stopped and I bumped into him and he... just pushed me on to the road. Surprised, I asked about his behaviour “What are you doing? A car could hit me.” - “Then look where you are walking” - he replied angrily. OK, well done, I have to admit that this worked quite well at keeping my distance from him. I am not sure if your method will work so well ;)
I was just thinking what a big impact you have had on my life, how much you teach me and how much I learn because of you. In the last few months I learned a lot about myself and about life. You made me realise that I still have some issues which I just hid and have never resolved. I think it is time for me to finally face the problems and resolve them. Furthermore, you are also helping me to build up my strength even more. As I mentioned before it is quite funny because at the beginning I just wanted to help you. I wanted to help you get your emotions under control and to be free and happy. However, now I can see that actually, it is you helping me and I did not even know I needed help.
When I received the “Good Bye” letter I was very sad and listless. Nonetheless, I am very grateful that it happened, that I received this
letter, as this taught me a lot. You see, Buddy, a few months ago, I did not think that something or somebody could affect me in this way.
It might seem that the letter affected me in a negative way as since I immigrated to this country I had never felt so apathetic. Nevertheless,
the reality is that at the end it build up my faith and patience, gave me more hope in life and therefore it made me stronger. Yes, I was
down when I received the letter, but fortunately I am strong enough and have enough experiences to know that it is not worth it to fall into
self-pity and despair. I know that life is short and it can be over tomorrow, therefore I do not want to waste any time in my life. I wasted
enough time many years ago (before I emigrated for the second time) when I was afraid that Adam would leave me. I could not enjoy today as I
was afraid of tomorrow (it was the only time in my entire life that I was worried about something). And one day the “future” came, he left me and...
actually I went through the same pain for the second time. Stupid. If I were smarter at that time, I would enjoy the time with Adam and go
through the pain only once, after he left me.
Anyway, do you know what I did this time to keep myself up and to not get into misery, sadness and despair? Yes, OK, I wrote the email to you and spent almost two days with Penny – she always cheers me up. But except for this. I went on the internet and googled quotes about patience. And then I wrote some of them on some sticky notes and attached them to my monitors. Quotes like “The best virtue is patience” or “Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet”. Every time I started to feel down I read the quotes and it cheered me up. Of course I knew these quotes, but reading them again and again made me feel as if somebody was saying it to me. This gave me hope that one day you will be talking to me again, and the hope gave me strength. Through doing this the “waiting time” was not too bad and it definitely was not wasted as I wrote a lot in that time and did some work on the farm. And today for me was like a confirmation that it is worth it - to have hope, to be patient and to wait. I had a wonderful time with you, Buddy, today in the morning and yesterday evening. I really enjoyed the breakfast – you are right, the food might be a bit dry, but it did not matter to me. Your company is what matters.
Regardless of what the future will bring, this experience was a very valuable lesson for me. I mentioned to you before that I live in the moment, I like to remember all the little beautiful moments as they give me strength for today and courage for the future. This time I not only had a great time with you, but I was also shown again that if I am patient and have faith I will be rewarded – yes, being able to have some good times with you was like a reward for me.
Should something painful happen to me again in the future I have one more experience to show me that everything will be OK as long as I have faith and patience.
George does not like sayings. He says that they are childish and stupid, as they might sound good, but at the end, life is hard and unfair,
so the sayings do not help him at all. Hmm... these were sayings which helped me through the difficult time.
Some time ago when George was again, angry with me, worried about the work here and disappointed that things are not done perfectly I told him that “We are building a palace on sand”. As for me there is nothing wrong with the farm, all the work is progressing better than I expected. However, there is a big problem between us, especially if he is getting angry with me all the time. It took me 10min to explain what the sayings actually mean, but anyway George did not get it. For him the sayings will not change the facts of life and will not do the work on the property. I did not discuss it any more with him.
And by the way, actually, I do not believe in coincidences. I think everything happens for a reason. Anyway, should coincidences exist, then it was also very coincidental that you had milk for your breakfast. I also would prefer milk, but... I was so often told “you always have to be different; you cannot behave like normal people” then I learned to have just some tea with plenty of milk. In this way I do not get too much attention. Though some people still find my tea-drinking habit funny and therefore sometimes at work when the IT people are going buy their coffees somebody will ask me “Would you like some milk with tea?” or “Would you like some hot water with milk?”
I hope you will have good days off and everything goes well with picking up the car.
Lots of Wings,