I am on my way back home from the city from the toastmasters conference/competition where I was a test speaker. I am quite happy with my performance and especially with the feedback I got. A couple of points for improvement for my preparation for the next level competition in a few month time, but also quite a few people came to me and said that it was a very inspiring speech and I should start thinking more about doing it professionally. As you know this is my goal, but at the moment too much is happening, so I will see how everything is going. Who knows what will happen with my current contract, if I will have a job next year or not. Time will show. Actually I had a small hiccup at the stage, but I could cover it so that nobody noticed. What happened is that usually before I go on the stage I prefer to be by myself or with a close friend, but at events it is hardly possible – I am always going by myself, but then people come to me and start chatting and trying to “calm me down”, so that I am not stressed. But actually the talks what to do to not be stressed make me much more nervous – I know that all these people mean well, it is probably because I am so different... As a result middle through my speech I... forgot what I was actually talking about. Luckily it came back pretty quickly and nobody noticed.
I was going to stay a bit longer on the coast and enjoy the ocean, but... after an hour walk along the water I had enough – too many people and too much concrete. So I decided to drive home and stop somewhere on the way. And now I am in a little country town at some lookout point at the mountains. Every time on my way to the city and back I am passing the sign to this place and never had time to stop and have a look. Finally today I got the chance to see the place and... I love it. No people, no concrete, nothing, just green fields surrounding me, few houses spread all over the countryside, cattle grassing peacefully and everything enclosed by the mountains on the horizon... I felt very tired, so I slept here for about half an hour at the back of my car. And now I am sitting at the back of the car with the back door open admiring the view and writing the email. I love 4x4 cars – very practical :) I felt a bit bad today because George asked me one day to come with me to the city to the conference, but... I preferred to go by myself... George is very organised and practical, everything has to be planned and discussed. No place for spontaneity. And I... I just have a “gipsy soul”... I never plan. I just live in the moment – especially when I travel or on the farm (unless we do something together with George on the farm, then it has to be planned; but George does the planning and gets frustrated that I do not take life seriously ;). I did not know for how long I want to stay at the conference and what I want to do after – go to the beach? Go for a drive? No idea, I just wanted to enjoy the time. I do not have many chance to do something like this, and often I am missing the spontaneity, so I used today to just do this. And I loved the time here at the lookout point – I could sit here for hours enjoying the view, the sunset which will come soon, take some photos and just write... However George just called me, we had a (nice) chat and I had better continue driving and behave as a “normal person” and not like a gipsy ;) I will continue writing at home.
I am back home, and had to hear some comments because of my sleeping in the car... I could be killed and the car could break down and nobody would find me (it was 3km from the Hwy, not middle of the outback!). George should write horror movies scripts – he has an unbelievable imagination about everything that could go wrong... For me the only one real danger was that if I continued driving I would fall asleep and crash, I was so tired. I know he worries about me... somehow I am not good wife to put him into this stress... Anyway, this is boring topic, back to travels.
I just got interrupted in my writing because of very heavy sudden storm. When I came home the sky was clear, it was quite warm and there was not any wind. The doors and windows were open to cool down the house. But suddenly very strong wind started and like a dust storm and after this some heavy rain but only short. We had to run and close everything and secure things on the verandah and so on. Now it is quiet again...
So now back to the travels. Actually I have not travelled as much as I would wish to – I travelled only in EU and AU and NZ. There are many more places I
would like to see, some still in EU, but also Canada, some countries in South America (one of my close friends is living in Colombia) and in Asia. Africa...
hmm... I am not very keen on war torn countries... As I am not a big fan of touristy places... I like... what I did last year when I went to New Zealand.
I booked the flight, the motel for the first and last night in NZ, a car and I knew that one night I will spent at friends place (another close friend of
mine lives in NZ). And then I just... drove, stopping where I wanted and when I wanted, mostly at the edge of the road taking photos of the mesmerising
nature. Drove on small roads in the middle of nowhere, bought food in supermarket and eat on the beach. Sometimes went to a pub and had a great time with
completely strange local people. And when the day was coming to an end I looked for a motel or some place to stay. If I went in summer I would have booked
a motor-home instead of a car and stayed in caravan parks. I loved the wilderness of the west coast of the south island. George did not go with me – for
him it would be a nightmare, not a holiday. He likes to have everything organised – motels booked not too far from the town centre, coffee shops not too
far away, the coffee has to be good, and so on. And when driving then... just drive from town to town, not too much stopping on the way, what-for waste
the time, it is better to arrive earlier in the motel. Together we travel only in AU mainly on motorbikes – though there are always some issues even though
I try to adjust to everything he likes... We have never been oversees together. Next year most probably I will go to EU again (my sister made me almost
promise that I will visit her). I was thinking about going via Canada – I will see when the time comes closer. I do not think George would go with me,
but who knows...
BTW I have a flat in my parents house, so should you ever like to visit this country you are always welcome there :). My parents do not speak English, but my cousin who lives in the same building speaks English better than I do (she studied English and she is English teacher; her grammar is perfect – not like mine all over the place...)
And I wrote again much too much... Sorry, but writing is somehow like a therapy for me ;) I will explain next time.
One more thing... In one of your emails you said that you were too weak to discuss some things with anyone else. I do not think you were too weak, not at all. You showed a lot of strength and courage in the way how you dealt with the situation you were in. And how you got into the situation is also not your fault… And even that you were not able to stop your “other life” from day to day shows how decent man you are. (“Alfa males” would just stop seeing the other person without any financial loses, any regrets, any sad feelings what so ever).
You could not discuss these things with anybody else because… there are not many people who would understand… And trying to discuss these things with people who judge without knowing facts, with people who do not understand is like… Having big, bleeding wounds and jumping into waters full with piranhas. Not very smart in my opinion… So please never think about yourself that you are weak, because you are not. You are very courageous and decent man.
I hope you will have a better night today than you had the last two days...
And you know how I feel...