Yesterday, as every Friday we went to town, with Darcy of course. George had “man” business to do (buying tools, etc) and I took Darcy for a walk in the park. I had to be careful that she did not go for a swim and got wet, as we had to go home by car and... wet dog in the car can be a bit of a problem, especially for George. Anyway, all was going well, until I got distracted by some birds and the next I saw was Darcy standing in the water, just the legs wet. So I called her to come out. She turned around, looked at me and... started going down on her legs, putting her belly into the water, looking at me and her face like saying “feels sooo gooood”. It looked really funny. I tried to get her out of the water, but I could not stop laughing and at the end Darcy was completely wet. Luckily George was busy for well over an hour, so Darcy had time to dry a bit. We were lying underneath a tree watching ducks on the creek. There were so many baby ducks, so cute – I regretted I did not have my camera with me. And all the story ended well, as Darcy was almost dry when George saw us and he, as well, found the story funny.
Darcy loves being in the car. I also think that taking her with me to town is a solution for the digging, so I take her with me everywhere I can. But for
George it is a bit different – he finds dogs more as a problem than a companion. Do you know the series “Doc Martin”? So, this is my husband – very logical,
organised and everything has to be perfectly planned. There is no logic in taking dog to town, just causing more troubles for yourself.
Anyway, back to Darcy. Every Friday (she does not know it is Friday, but she knows it is the day after I came home) around lunchtime she will be all the time around the Jeep waiting for our trip to town. And when I leave the back door open, she will be waiting in the car. For her the best part of the trip is through our property and on Lesslie Rd (the road between us and the Hwy). She gets very excited and makes a lot of funny noises. I cannot stop laughing and sometimes George says he is not sure who has more fun on this stretch of the road – Darcy or me. And sometimes I joke that for her birthday I should take her for a drive up and down Lesslie Rd – it is only about 1km, but obviously the best fun. Unfortunately I do not know when her birthday is because as you know she is from a shelter...
We had visitors last week – George's brother Henry with his new partner Thea. It was quite nice, though George and Henry have completely different
personalities, so...these two cannot meet for too long. Otherwise George changes into a rooster on a fighting ring and then there are only problems...
But this time there was only 1 embarrassing situation, so it was excellent :)
Henry is a family man – he has three almost adult children. It is sad, but he did not have much luck with his family. His wife Lily was very strange, wanting to control everybody and everything, and it looked like the goal of her life is to destroy her husband. We visited them only once – we stayed at their place for 10 days. I did not like to be in their home, somehow I felt not welcome there because of her (but saying this I have to add, that she tried to be very nice to us, prepared nice room, we had meals with them, she was friendly to us and gave us gifts for Christmas; she did not do anything wrong, it was just my feeling there). My parents-in-law had their little house also on this property, so most of the time I spent at their place. The kids hated their father, they grew up in an atmosphere, that the father is the wicked one and the mother is the most beautiful person on the planet. Henry was always sitting outside by himself, reading books, never played with the kids. Not even over Christmas – it was really sad... And when Lily needed something, she came and told him what to do and he did it at once.
After time Henry met Thea and divorced his wife after more than 20 years of marriage. Lily wanted to keep the house because of the children and so on and Henry agreed. She sold the house together with the little house of my parents-in-law and bought an apartment and... it is how my parents-in-law become actually homeless (they could stay there, but had to pay a rent which was quite high, so they could not afford it for long). And it is also how we ended up living for a few years with George parents and having 2 cottages instead of a proper house. Anyway, the parents were happy here for a few years. Now because of their deteriorating health they are in nursing home and we have... guest house on the property.
Henry's kids... the oldest daughter Roxy hates him and the mother still feeds her with more hatred. Roxy has serious medical issues – once physical as she is extremely obese, second... mental. She is very unstable, her mood changes from minute to minute. Henry's with the kids visited us less than a couple of years ago, and it was very difficult for all of us to do anything because of Roxy. Everything was done as she wanted it, but she still was not happy. She could suddenly start to cry, then laugh, then she was furious with her father without any reason... I seldom say it, but I believe she really needs a professional help for her mental issues. Usually I believe that a good friend can help a lot, but... I was not able to talk to Roxy at all (it seems so simple to talk to IT and get something done, compare to trying to talk to Roxy ;)
Shelly, the middle daughter – she realised which game her mother is playing and now has quite good relationship with her father, but... hates her mother. Nevertheless she is a very smart girl, so I am sure she will be OK in life.
And Conor – typical teenage boy, he does not take any sides in this game and I hope for him that he will be OK.
Only financially Thea and Henry struggle a lot... I just hope for them that they can pay off the mortgage on her house soon and they will be fine.
Usually I am not much in favour of divorces... I believe that if two people want to achieve something together, they can. I saw my parents, how many difficulties they had in life and they went through everything together and now after over 40 years of marriage they are still happy together. But at the same time I know that it is not always possible, especially not if only one side tries the best and the other tries to destroy everything (this I also know from my experience... I was not married before, but... it did not work out... You know what I mean). So I am happy for Henry, that he met Thea and they are very happy together. His kids are adult (the youngest is 18 or 19 years old), Henry does not need any legal permission to see the kids, and at the end the divorce was not so bad for the kids as it would be if they were younger.
I know that the “rules of society” are saying that divorces are bad. When people get married they should love each other and live happily ever after. And it sound wonderful. But... should they also hate each other ever after? Should they make the life unbearable for each other? We have only one life, why not to make the best of it? In the eyes of society Henry is the bad guy, he left the family. From my point of view it is Lily who left Henry, he just completed the paperwork... And after all what she did to the family Henry still tries to protect her and explain why she reacts or do things in the way she does... Somehow he still has feelings for her, and it hurts him that Lily hates him so much, but... He did the best he could in the situation he was in... And now I hope he will be happy ever after with Thea :)
A week passed since I started writing the email. Usually the time is passing very quickly, but somehow... this week was quite long... Just sitting in my office and admiring the sun rise – clear sky, no wind, some fog in the valley and the sun painting the sky over the hills pink-red. Many different types of birds singing and playing in the grass and bushes around the house trying to catch some breakfast. Very romantic picture :) I will soon go outside and let Pinkie and his friends out on the big paddock, and water some plants we planted last week. And after continue with clearing here – last weekend and this weekend we are doing some work on the top here around the houses in preparation for summer and bushfire season. Probably will finish the clearing here today. Quite strenuous job – cutting trees, pulling them to the tractor and the wood chipper and then chipping – but I like it. Somehow this kind of job helps in controlling emotions... Anyway, will not go in this direction....
Last weekend I found a dead magpie in the cattle water trough – it drown. I do not understand how can a bird drown in water where it can stand? It was sad... And on Friday I almost lost Darcy. We went to town as usual, but because George had to pick up a lot of stuff we took the LC tray-top instead of the Jeep. Darcy went already few times on the tray top to town and everything was OK. Somehow this time, when we came back and stopped in front of our gate from all the excitement with kangaroos and other animals she felt out of the tray-top and hanged herself – luckily she was in a harness... I have to think how to solve this problem, as if this happened during driving on the Hwy... I would not have Darcy any more...
I caught up with a friend today and somehow we came on the topic of “reputation”. As a kid I was taught by my grandfather and other elderly people:
“Never worry about what people say about you. Does not matter what you do the majority of people will speak bad about you – this is human nature.
Always do, what you think is right, so that you have good conscience and are happy with yourself”. And it is what I try to do. You can imagine my
reputation in a small town especially among elderly embittered women. I am a foreign, my husband is so much older than I am, so... I am the one who...
destroyed family and married for visa and money. Funny. They do not know few small details, that... George was always living on his own, never was
married before, not even living in de-facto relationship (difficult to destroy family in this situation ;). Yes, I was on married visa, but when
I married George, I was already almost 4 years in this country and I was also able to apply for “skilled migration” visa. And with money...
Current company is not paying me very well (much below the market rate), but still I am earning much better than George ever did. It is true,
being older he had some savings/superannuation and we could buy the farm without taking a big loan, but now he is not working, so it is my
responsibility to make the money. If I wanted to marry for money – I had much better choices ;)
You see what people say and what is the truth these are two different things, and therefore I do not care too much about the “people talk”. The only thing which is important for me is that I feel good with this what I do, I mean that I have a good conscience.
Actually in the case of my marriage I prefer the men's version of it – they are usually jealous on George and say “he made it well... Retired before 60, young wife on good salary...” ;) (George does not agree with this – for him it is very difficult to have me around; he always wants me to stop “being like a child” – but it is not possible ;) And anyway when I am not here he... misses me :)
We finished the chipping this weekend. I am exhausted and hardly can move, but I like the feeling. I am very tired, but I can see that something got done and this makes me happy. Actually yesterday I was putting too much timber to the chipper and completely blocked it. It took me over an hour to clean it, but I did it. George was of course angry with me, but... Anyway, I fixed it, we finished the chipping so all good. And in the evening as usually I went to the cattle and could relax. I love to sit there with them and watch them chewing the lucern I give them, the sun is setting down, Darcy goes for a swim in the dam – very relaxing atmosphere...
I was thinking about friendship between man and woman and how people believe that it is “something wrong”. I know the common believe is that
“man and woman equal sex” and therefore it destroys marriages and so on, but it is not the experience I have. I actually believe that having
friends of opposite gender is even helpful in relationships/marriages.
Just recently at home things went terribly wrong, something like this has never happened before (I can tell you the story one day if you like). Everything started as one Friday I went to town to catch up with my friend Penny and George stayed at home. Penny works for aid organisation and she used to visit my mother-in-law. It is how she and George become friends, and later George introduced me to her. With Penny we have so similar characters that we could be twins (except, she is almost 20 years older than me). When I came back home George was angry with me and I was not sure why. I tried to talk, but... not possible. And on Saturday... just disaster... I had no idea what was going on... Sunday (it was better at home) Penny visited us. I talked to her about what had happen. And at the end I said “I do not understand what is going on. Look I am catching up with all the guys in the city, almost all my work colleagues are male and George is never angry. And one time I caught up with you and... Such a disaster at home”. She could not tell me why it had happened. She was cheering me up and it was nice, but I still did not know how to solve the problem at home. I could not understand why it had happened, why George reacted in the way he did.
Two days later I caught up with Mark (my very good friend; not in “brothers” category, but a very good friend). I told him the story as well. He also cheered me up and got worried about me, but he also said something else: “You see it is not going about whom you meet, but when you meet them. George has a limited time with you, and the problem was that you had chosen to spent part of the time he should have with you with somebody else”. And this made sense. I talked with George about Penny and that I would like to have some time with her as well, and now we found a solution for this. We go to town together, have lunch, catch up with Penny and then George goes and do “man-stuff” (buying tools and chatting to all the guys in rural shops and works –shops) and I have my time with Penny. And everybody is happy. And I am very thankful to Mark for pointing this out to me. I do not think I would ever think about the “time issue” why George was angry... And I do not think any woman would think in this way – at least no one of whom I know.
Something completely different… Somehow talking about Mark I remember another situation which we had with Mark and which for us was very funny,
but... not for everybody would be. We had a female colleague from Korea who had... bit difficulties in “social interaction or communication”.
Somehow she did not know what is OK to say what is not (she was a colleague, not a friend). So she was sending me messages like “Honey, I miss you”.
I thought “Thanks God I am a woman, so if my husband sees it, not a problem”. But one day Mark told me that he is also getting this type of messages
or even better. He laughed and said “What should I say to my wife if she reads it”. For us it was a big joke – his wife is not jealous or something
like this. Most probably she would laugh as well, of course after some explanation. But unfortunately for other people... It could be a real
disaster... But it also shows that it is not worth to try to secretly check somebody’s messages or in any way monitoring somebody secretly.
We can get very distorted picture... Mark talked to that woman only professionally (because of PMI program), he was not even a friend – very far
away from having an affair…
As I mentioned another time, my mum had the obsession to control others. When I was chatting with my sister we always had to whisper as my mum was standing at the door and try to listen (we caught her a few times). Sometimes she heard some parts of our conversation and… I always got into troubles (I was the bad one). Very often what she understood had nothing to do with the things we discussed with my sister – taken out of context it was something completely different... I have good relationship with my parents, but I have to admit that at the beginning when I emigrated, I felt for the first time really... free.
I better get ready for tomorrow – this time I have to drive to the city on Monday – I have competition from Toastmasters. This will be really looong weeek...
And the next week finished... And I won both competitions – Humorous speech and Evaluation :) I have two more competitions coming at the end of the month – International (kind of motivational speaking) and impromptu speaking.
This weekend with Darcy we were spreading some wood chips in the garden. It was a lot of fun. We have to load the wood chips to the quad-bike trailer
and then transport it to the garden. When we load the trailer we usually play a lot – rolling in the wood chips, Darcy is digging and I am covering
her with the chips. And on Sunday we were building the run-way (or however it is called) for yards – blue metal + diamond grid + some other stones on
top. Darcy was laying on the blue metal while I was spreading and flattening it, she did not want to go and lay down on the grass, so every time when
I came closer to her with the rakes she moved about a meter. Unfortunately George was also involved, and... as usual husbands destroy all the fun ;)
“You and you stupid dog! We cannot spent here all day! This is serious work, not a game!”. And so Darcy was sent away and I was... listening to my upset
husband. Luckily I was quite good in building the way, so at the end George felt bad that he got angry with us, Darcy could come back and we continued
with our fun :) As I said George is often upset because I am so childish and never worry about anything. But is not life about fun? I love laughing and
joking and for me life is... just a game. Like a game of poker – I cannot choose the cards I get, but I can learn how to play. So why complain that life
is not perfect, that the cards I got could be better? I prefer to be happy with the cards I have (they could be much worse) and play the game the best
I can. And simply enjoy every day :)
This weekend I had to work at the PC as well (only when it's long weekend or I go Monday to the office I do not work on the weekend), otherwise Monday would be too busy, therefore I did not have much time for writing... Maybe better so, taking into account how much I already wrote ;)