Thank you very very much for the lovely lunch. Yes, I was completely surprised, had no idea how to behave and what to do, but I really enjoyed it and had a lot of fun. I was just thinking that nobody ever managed to confuse me as much as you did (in this respect luckily for me there are not many people like you are :)).
The flower was very nice – yes, I did not know how to behave, but it was lovely surprise. And the restaurant was also nice I just did not know who should I be… Should I be the business person who usually would go to this type of restaurant or should I be the person Buddy knows. With you I definitely cannot be diplomatic (which I usually am when I deal with business), so… I do not know what to do! Run away!! (But I did not, so I was not too bad ;) Maybe I should explain my “split personality”. Because of all that happened in my past I learned that the best way to protect myself is to not show any emotions, be like a machine. Can you imagine that the first year in my first job in AU I did not talk to anybody in the office and I never laughed at work? The only words I said in the office were “Hi”, “Yes” (when they asked me something to do; I never said No – too scared I could loose the job an d my visa) and “See you” (I talked a bit more with clients on sides but only about business). They used to call me “Woman Machine” or “German Superwoman” (I always worked and everything was done as expected). There was only one guy in the office with whom with time we became friends (he had similar relationship experience in the past so he could understand my pain; we are friends until today – he is an Aussie but living in Malaysia). But when I traveled I laughed a lot – the people I met during my travels… I would not see them again, so they were not any danger for me. At some point my diverse personality was so perfect that… people at work could not imagine that I can have friends (nobody wants to be a friend with a machine), and people who I met during my travels could not imagine how I can be taken seriously at work.
This changed to some degree and I laugh and joke a lot at work and everywhere, however I try not show the vulnerable/emotional part of me. Even if something actually hurts me I will turn it into a joke and laugh about it. And if somebody pushes too far… I will hit back (it happened only few times at current work; I like when people know the boundaries…). So I hope now you understand my dilemma today – should I be the “Woman machine” or… no, I cannot be the other person as there are too many other people who somehow could hurt me – what should I do?! And it is why I ended up as a… little girl not having any experience in the “big world of rich people”, not knowing what to say and what to do ;) But as I said I really enjoyed the lunch and the walk and the flower and I had a great time. And you are right – I will never forget it :)
And when I got back to work… Damian said “Good evening, you finally made it back”. “Stop annoying me my friend embarrassed me enough today” I laughed back and he believed that I caught up with Mark (of course not, Mark would never ever give me a flower and put me in such an awkward situation ;) And the meeting at 2pm – as I suspected it was cancelled at 2:07pm. And then I worked on the page we are currently improving – Mike has a few points for improvement, so I will implement it. It was funny, I walked with Damian to Mike to discuss the screen and on the way back Damian said “I hate it when they come back with comments where they are actually right” :)
And BTW – good to see some of your “old rusting car wrecks”, I would not mind to have one like you drove today if I still lived in EU; would be for sure
terrible on the winding roads in the Alps ;)
And I also noticed that the radio station set in your car today was one I have set up in my car – I know, no idea which one – does not matter ;)
I hope I was not too big embarrassment for you today and hopefully you could have some fun or at least some break from your everyday life. Have a good evening
- or good day – depends on when you read the email. And thank you once again :)