As a teenager I went through a very difficult situation. I was not accepted at school and also at home things were not very good for me. For a few years I did not have any friends and I was very lonely. As a result I suffered from depression. This put me in an even worse situation, as depression was not seen as an illness, but as a bad habit and laziness and people approached me with disgust. To help myself to get through this time I created my “Imaginary Friend”. I imagined that somewhere in the world is somebody who understands me, loves me and accepts me as I am. My Imaginary Friend was a man, but our relationship and the love I am talking about has nothing to do with sex. It is platonic love. I just needed the feeling of loving somebody and being loved. My Imaginary Friend did not have any physical appearance as it was not important for me. The only important thing was his personality. He was a very wise and loving person, strong, self-controlled, confident but not arrogant, simply perfect. Every time when I was down or felt lonely in my thoughts, I ran to my Imaginary Friend and talked to him. Yes, in reality in my mind I was having a conversation with myself, trying to see the given situation from a different perspective. However, I strongly believed that my friend is a real person simply living far away and therefore we cannot meet in person. Having this belief helped me to get through the unpleasant years and out of my depression.
My Imaginary Friend accompanied me through the years. He was always there for me when I needed him, always successful in cheering me up and giving me the necessary strength for the day and the hope for the future.
Nevertheless, over the years I have changed and so has my Imaginary Friend. I gathered more experiences in life and through this became a wiser and stronger person. My Friend, however, moved in the opposite direction and became more like an average human being with all the problems and difficulties everyone of us faces in everyday life. He still loves me very much (in a platonic sense) and supports me as much as he can. However, he makes mistakes, can feel emotions and have his ups-and-downs as we all do. Sometimes he gets stressed, sometimes he gets sad. There are times when he is very happy, content and calm. But, there are also times that his emotions take control over him. He is married and has adult children. At some point in his life he met another woman and got into a romantic relationship with her which went for years. He was trapped between two women he loved very much in a romantic sense. At the end he decided to go back to his wife and finish the relationship with his lover. The decision was not easy for him as his marriage is not perfect and there are many things he misses in life, but he is very determined to try to get the marriage back to the stage it was at the beginning – to the happy loving couple they were when they first met. In this process he will have his ups and downs as well.
Through the years my Imaginary Friend and I came to a similar level in the personal development. Now I have a chance to support my friend in the same way he supported me over the years. In this section I am writing emails/letters to my Imaginary Friend to cheer him up and to tell him what is happening in my life. All the stories from my life, which I am describing in these letters as well as all my feelings and thoughts, are real and honest. Everything really happened at some point in my life. Everything that happens to my Imaginary Friend are also real stories, however they happened to different people I met through the years. I align the stories as if everything happened to my Imaginary Friend and in this way I try to help him and cheer him up by telling him how I see the situation and which experience in life I have in that particular area.
As I mentioned before all situations described in the letters are events which really happened, however all names – including pets names and many places described in the emails have been changed.
The letters do not have any dates as the topics they embrace are timeless. For thousands of years people felt love and hatred, excitement and frustration, happiness and anger in the same way as we do today. Emotions and feelings dominated our lives since the beginning of Homo Sapiens. For centuries we struggled with the same problems affecting our lives. The technology and the ways we satisfy our needs changed but the basic needs themselves stayed the same. We all have to eat and sleep, we want to protect ourselves, have shelter and we long for love. Therefore it does not matter if the stories I talk about happened yesterday or 10 years ago, they are always up-to-date.
The majority of the emails are actually stand alone letters and they do not relate to any other email, though they are written in a way as if they were intended for one person. Very seldom an email is a follow up to a previous email and if this is the case it will be mentioned in the description of the letter. Every email has a description to familiarise the reader with the circumstances which inspired the letter. You can read randomly one letter or you can choose to read one after another, like a book. In the second case it will probably give you an impression that it is one side of an email conversation with one person – at least this was the intention for the emails. Some of the letters talk about funny situations to add some humour to the complete story.
I hope you will enjoy reading them and maybe some of the letters give you a different perspective on life and help you to deal with issues you are struggling with and which prevent you from being completely free and happy or at least to keep your roller coaster of emotions a bit under control.